When the Mama Guilt Got to Me

Yesterday I posted a webinar that I recently did called “How to Eliminate the Working Mama Guilt.”

Lots of good info. in there. You should watch it.

As I was preparing for the webinar I read through comments in various social  media groups. I talked to people to understand their experience. And obviously, I added a bit of my own experience in there as well.

If you watched the webinar you may remember a quote that I overheard one woman tell another woman who was trying to decide if she should stay at home or go back to work after having her baby.

“No amount of money is worth the salvation of our children.”

I’m not going to lie, you guys.

When that happened, I went back to my office and went into full on ugly cry.

Painful.

Oh so painful. 

It messed me up for a good hour after that.

Am I really sacrificing my children?

Am I a bad mom?

My job allows me to feed and shelter my children! How can I be a bad mom?

Look. I’m not perfect. Ok?

I’ve been working on eliminating the mama guilt for a long time, and most of the time, I do pretty well.

But I’m still not perfect.

This was one of those human moments for me.

One of those moments where I let someone else’s words get to me.

But here’s the thing.

Her words had no power over me until I let them. 

Let me rephrase. Her words had no power over me until I had a thought about them.

Here’s what really happened:

She said. . . . Words.

I had a thought, “My children will be damaged, and it’s all my fault.”

It was my thought that caused me to feel pain and guilt and cry like there was no tomorrow. 

It wasn’t her words.

Yeah, it may have taken me an hour to recover after that, but ultimately I let go of that thought.

I chose to let it go, because it wasn’t serving me.

I chose to believe that those words weren’t true at all. 

I chose to believe that I’m a great mom . . . . working or not.

And that IS the truth.

Originally Published 1/22/20