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What if you did know?

children dreams motherhood Sep 08, 2021
shannon and primary teacher

This cute lady was my primary teacher when I was 4 years old. She was 80 at the time.

Mom worried that an octogenarian would have a hard time keeping up with us kids. Little did we know what a huge blessing Faye Ward would become in our lives.

She became an adopted grandmother of sorts, and we never stopped visiting her over the years until she died at 100 years old. 

By the time I was in high school, Sister Ward was almost completely blind. I started visiting her and transferring handwritten notes, letters, journals, and other documents into electronic format. 

I loved these sessions.

I remember her telling me one time as we were going through old documents that as I grow up I need to "take time to dream."

As a teenager this made absolutely no sense, because who didn’t take time to dream?

As a working mom? Makes complete sense, because when is there time to do anything alone?

Trips to the bathroom are now communal. I constantly have little shadows.

Mornings usually consist of frantic hustle trying to get everyone ready for the day while hoping I didn’t forget to put mascara on that one eye.

One of my team members at work affectionately refers to me as the “mom” of the team. . . . that should tell you everything you need to know (and don’t worry, my little feminist self isn’t offended).

When I get home I’m bombarded with cuddles (not going to complain there), dinner, bathtime and bedtime routines.

And next month, we add a new little monkey to our circus, and let’s be honest. If you’ve ever birthed and breastfed a child you know your body won’t be yours again for a million trillion years.

My mind and body are always focused on someone else. Not usually on me, and not often on my dreams. 

So, what's your dream?

For reals. What's YOUR dream?

When I ask my clients this, most often I get something along the lines of: "I want my kids to be happy." or "I want all of my family to get to heaven with me." 

Both lovely thoughts. 

But guess what? Neither of those things are completely within my clients' control. 

They can't control whether or not their kids will be happy or make good choices. 

Can they contribute to their children's happiness and path in life? For sure. But they can't control the outcome.

When I ask my clients to strip away the dreams they can't control and to name a dream within their control, most often the answer that comes back is, "I don't know."

When my first coach asked me this same question 3 and a half years ago, I seriously could not answer her. I had absolutely no idea. 

You could be a mom and still have dreams?

That seemed so impossible to me. 

Then she asked a magic question, “What if you did know?”

Suddenly I had answers.

Good answers too! 

Now don’t get me wrong. It’s not like I was able to list dreams and start chasing them overnight.

Because as an overwhelmed, sleep-deprived mama, I just assumed that my dreams were my sacrificial lamb. I traded them in on the day I had my babies.

But you know what? That’s not true at all.

I’m starting to learn that it is possible to be a mom, a wife, a professional, and STILL chase after my dreams. . . . I’m trying to prove to my brain that this is true, by just doing it. By living my dreams.

But I had to start somewhere. I had to start with taking the time to even dream.

So what’s your dream? 

Don’t know?

What if you did know? 😉

Originally Published 4/16/20

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